Over the past few weeks, I have spoken a lot about my diet on YouTube and Instagram. Yesterday, I decided to stop for a moment and reflect on my weight loss journey, hoping that my experience could be helpful to someone else. Weight loss is a long and tough marathon, but it builds incredible resilience and confidence.
I was born with depression, and for a long time, I lived in fear. I hid it from everyone because I was terrified of being labeled "dumb" or "worthless." Society often tells us that if you don't come from a wealthy, highly respected family, you are a nobody. If you feel depressed, you are crazy. Everyone else seems to have more than you, and you're left wondering: why aren't I like everyone else?
But the truth is, I am not like others. I am myself.
When I moved to England, I finally started to learn about mental health. It hit me: I’m not crazy; my mind just works differently than the "standard" person. But who exactly is the standard person? Is it someone who just wakes up, does their job, keeps the house clean, minds their business, and goes to bed without complaining, even when life is unfair? If so, the "standard" is a robot.
I am not a robot. I am more sensitive than many, and I refuse to be ashamed of it anymore. That sensitivity gives me a skill that many people lack: empathy. Empathy is what shifted my entire life toward a holistic path of caring for others. It’s what wakes me up every morning with the thought that someone out there needs the exact kind of help and support I once needed.
The Connection Between Depression and Weight Gain
Living in a country where depression is recognised as a severe illness was a huge step forward for me. It forced me to hit a wall and face the reality of my struggles, rather than escaping them and letting them mutate into rage or burnout. But there is still a massive disconnect: people understand the concept of depression, but they don’t understand the people who suffer from it.
Those of us battling depression have often ignored our own health for a long time. That is exactly what happened to me. I gained 22 kg in two years because I completely neglected my basic human needs.
Dealing With Diet Sabotage from Coworkers
When I finally started working on myself, my former co-workers made fun of me. They called me delusional for thinking that eating better and moving more could actually improve my life. "Discipline is hard and isn't for everyone," they would say. When I started losing weight, the backlash got even worse. My being depressed and overweight made them feel safe; my laziness validated theirs. One girl was so upset by my diet that she brought donuts and sausage rolls into the office every single day, just waiting to see if I would break. Committing to personal goals shakes people up, because I was proving that you can build a healthier life without resorting to extreme medical interventions.
Following my goals and being fuelled by motivation terrified the lazy ones. Someone even had the nerve to tell me, "You make me so sad because you can't eat whatever you want." Honey, I ate whatever popped into my mind for years, and it led to me having breathing problems just walking up three steps. That is what made me sad.
We live in a culture where people would rather complain about their problems than take action. I am not saying taking action is easy. Building the life you want is extremely difficult, but it is not impossible.
Discipline vs. Money: The Truth About Weight Loss
I get seriously frustrated when people say things like, "Kim Kardashian only lost weight because she has money." I didn't realise money literally burned fat. Yes, famous people have dieticians, fitness coaches, chefs, nannies, and assistants. I agree that makes it easier. But the person who actually follows the diet, sweats through the workouts, and loses the weight is her, not the chef. You can have ten people around you every day, but if you lack internal motivation, you will fail. Strategy is the key. You need a structured plan that fits your actual lifestyle and personality.
When I started to lose weight, I was alone. I had no support system, no chef, and no assistant making my life easier. I was just a girl with a goal, surrounded by people telling me I couldn’t do it. That doesn’t make me a superhero. I am still an anxious person, and I still manage my depression, but I finally had a reason. And a strong enough reason can move oceans.
How to Control Cravings and Reclaim Your Health
Cutting back on foods like heavy pasta dishes and sugary sodas was excruciating at first. There were days I went to bed crying, battling cravings so overwhelming I couldn’t even focus on the TV. But when I saw the scale moving and felt my health improving, I knew the sacrifice was worth it.
Over time, I learned to control my habits so they wouldn't control me. Now, I decide when it’s the right time to eat "whatever I want." And I will tell you a secret: I appreciate a good plate of pasta so much more now than when I was mindlessly eating it every day just to feel full. I still love pasta, pizza, and croissants (my Italian blood hasn't changed). Even if my accent sounds funny to some, I am deeply proud to be Italian. I just save those culinary jewels for the right moments, and I enjoy them completely.
Being disciplined with my nutrition isn't "sad." It makes me a motivated person with purpose. What is wrong with that?
So, when you see someone trying to fix their life, don't assume they are spoiled or selfish. Don't be harsh with them. Because one day, you might need the strength to reach your own goals, and you won't make it if you've spent all your energy trying to drag others down.
Beatrice Monti
Healthy Flame by B Founder
Add comment
Comments