Where do I start? What happens when I finally make the jump?
People often ask if they should call it "Day 1" or "Day 0." The reality is that it’s either never or always Day One. We spend years getting to know ourselves, discovering what we love, where our comfort zones are, and what triggers us. Does that sound familiar?
When we finally decide that "today is the day" to change our lives, a million thoughts arise. Usually, that shift happens because of a spark of inspiration: a movie, a book, or a person. But while turning on the light is one thing, keeping the flame burning is another.
If you are reading this, it means you have a flame inside you, and you are taking the right steps to protect it.
The Reality of the "Black Hole"
We all have days where we feel we could rule the world. But we also have "sloppy" days; sad days where it feels like a black hole has sucked all the energy and warmth from our bodies. Surprisingly or not, this is normal for everyone.
What we really need to figure out is: What am I going to do when a bad day happens? What do I do when I shut the world out and let my brain "sleep" by scrolling through my phone or watching TV all day? Because even if I feel ready today, tomorrow everything can change.
This is why we must prepare a plan. When we write down our thoughts, we are writing a draft of a contract with our lives. It is a massive first step: starting to visualise how we want to see ourselves and which goals we want to reach.
My Breaking Point
I know this struggle because I lived it. In 2022, I worked in an office with long shifts and night work. My body became totally disconnected from the natural rhythm of the day, and my meals and activities quickly followed suit.
I stopped exercising and eating well. I forgot everything I had learned as an Herbalist and Naturopath because my priority was no longer feeling well; it was simply earning enough money to pay the bills. I survived on takeaway and fast food.
I spent almost two years eating without control, gaining 20kg (44 lbs). I reached a point where I didn't recognise myself. When I looked at the old yoga poses on my Instagram profile, it felt like looking at a stranger. I knew if I didn't do something, I would reach a breaking point. Since deciding to change, I’ve had so many "Day Ones" that I’ve lost count.
The Cycle of Guilt
We say to ourselves: “Today is the day. Today I will write my own destiny.” But after a few days, we feel tired or overwhelmed. Maybe work is tough, and suddenly those good thoughts fade, transforming into guilt, hopelessness, and worry.
It becomes a vicious cycle:
Negative Thoughts = Low Mood = Unhelpful Behaviour.
When this cycle started for me, I realised I had to change my approach. I had to stop punishing myself and start understanding myself.
How I Finally Organised the Chaos
First, I asked for help. I started with private therapy and eventually moved to NHS Talking Therapies, which is a fantastic, free service available through local councils here in the UK.
My therapist helped me analyse my triggers. I started keeping a diary of my emotions to understand why I was feeling a certain way. For example, I realised I felt frustrated at work because my skills weren't being valued. I had to be honest with myself, and that was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I realised I was trying to be what others expected of me, rather than who I actually was.
It took years of education and self-discovery to realise I am not what people expect me to be. I am simply me.
I tried many things: writing, gardening, cooking, and different workouts. I chose the ones that gave me a positive, enthusiastic feeling. I moved in and out of my comfort zone. Not every day was easy, but I learned to manage the dark days with small steps.
Your 4-Step Start
Any beginning is made of analysis, mistakes, falls, and new plans. We cannot be perfect from Day 1, and we must accept that. When we start, we start with a thought, and from there, it is a path into the unknown where we get to decide the rules.
- Analyse: Identify your triggers and pinpoint what actually makes you feel good.
- Experiment: Try new things and have fun. Find what genuinely gives you energy.
- Plan: Start writing a weekly plan (your personal "contract").
- Adjust: Give yourself permission to change the plan absolutely anytime you need to.
We don’t have to feel guilty because we aren't "average." We should feel comfortable being ourselves. Being yourself is a journey of self-discovery, and it lasts a lifetime.
Healthy Flame Tip: Don't be afraid of having multiple "Day Ones." Every time you start over, you aren't starting from scratch—you are starting from experience.
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